A Maturing of Appreciation and Gratitude

We take so many things for granted. Particularly when years have passed in the company of those we love.

I've known my wife for 27 years. We married 16 ago. So we had a good 10 year stint where we dated, remained friends, and then got serious.

My wife didn't fit the profile of who I thought I should marry. I was supposed to marry a Catholic girl, probably one I met in college, and certainly of some social status.

My wife was raised in the rural south, supported herself since she was a young teenager, and an independent soul.

I liked her immediately. She had depth, read good books, and like good music. She was wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt when I met her, had long brown hair down past her hips, and a smile that said carefree.

It took more than 10 years of me mostly trying to avoid the truth: that I loved her more than anyone and I wanted to spend my life with her. It was an undiagnosed and mysterious illness that proved that to me. There's nothing quite as powerful in driving clarity than being faced with the stark possibility that someone may be taken from you without warning and without choice.

Not much changed in her when we got married. She stayed grounded, reliable, and free thinking. She didn't try to change me to meet some vision of an ideal husband, and she certainly didn't entertain any thoughts of mine about what a good wife should be.

This woman does so much for me, for our kids, for our household, for our extended family, and for our community, it is almost beyond words.

She does it without expectation of recognition or reward, which she deserves in droves and for which she gets far less than that which she deserves. She does it simply because it is the true expression of who she is.

Every day, several times a day, in the meditation practice I now carry with me as constantly and consistently as I can, I take a moment to feel her presence in my life, stoke an internal love and gratitude for her, and release it into the world, trusting it will find a place on her path, wherever she might be.

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