Relax, Release, and Receive

Boy, have I been struggling lately. The world seems dark. Again. Loved ones are sick. Loved ones have died. Loved ones are anxious and depressed.

Shit, I'm anxious and depressed.

It's not like before though. It's nothing like before. Well, it's a little bit like before. Okay, maybe a lot like before. Almost the same as before, actually.

What's different are two things: Tools, and Faith.

Ah, man the tools. Phil Stutz (recently profiled in Jonah Hill's Stutz) has some great ones. His book The Tools covers them in greater detail than the movie, and his website describes them in practical detail.

Sam Harris's Waking Up app is a direct, no-nonsense approach to meditation that is in some ways so bland and other ways so rich that it's suitable for just about anybody. 

Headspace, of course, I owe to getting me started in meditation, largely due to it's capability to set up a 2-minute meditation -- about all I could handle when I first sought relief.

I owe a lot to these tools and the powerful techniques I've learned and adopted to lift my perspective on life.

And then there's Faith. I turned my back on my faith for a long time. Distracted by career and ambition, I figured the universe would work itself out the way it did, and didn't need any attention or contribution from me. Lately, that changed and in my explorations through meditation, the spiritual aspects of my life have started to come into bloom again. What a relief.

But, whatever this thing called Life is...nothing is permanent. Everything rises and falls away. Everything is changing.

I was on a good run there for a while. Things felt overwhelmingly positive. If you had a religious bent, you might say I was filled with the Holy Spirt. 

Holy Spirit, vibrational frequency increase, energy alignment -- I've given up trying to pin a word on the ineffable. It felt phenomenal. And it persisted for a while. A few weeks in fact.

And then it was gone.

My confidence largely went with it. My productivity decreased. I suspect I might lose a client. My dreams seem, once again, out of reach. And silly. The negative self-talk is loud, clear, and abundant.

But now I have Tools and I have Faith.

They come together in the concept of Surrender. This word has surfaced for me more in the past week to be more than coincidence.  Without a sense of faith and this stronger feeling of connection with a higher power, I could dismiss it as frequency illusion. I choose to believe I'm being guided.

Michael Singer gives helpful instruction:

Relax and release. Relax your heart until you are actually face-to-face with the exact place where it hurts. Stay open and receptive so you can be present right where the tension is. You must be willing to be present right at the place of the tightness and pain, and then relax and go even deeper.

I do this exercise with the addition of receive.  Relax, release, and receive.  I receive help.  I ask for it, and expect it. I watch for it, and respect it. For me, it's a catalyst for additional Surrender.  And it's Surrender that provides relief.