Aspirations for Normalcy

You can't browse through a newsfeed these days without seeing some mention of anxiety and depression being at an all-time high.  While it seems to be most shocking and pervasive among kids and teens, no one is immune.  Men, women, blue collar, white collar, rich, poor.

One way we seem to be addressing this as a society is from the bottom up.  It's now common to post and talk openly about the individual struggle. A colleague shares on LinkedIn. A politician openly hospitalizes himself for treatment. A pop star vlogs about a particularly challenging episode.

I imagine there's quite a bit of value in these things and perhaps contribute to a collective sigh of relief, however small and however fleeting. We feel better knowing we're not the only ones, and that others that we work with, others that we admire, others that we follow, are not exempt from the increasing barrage of threats to our mental well-being.

What I've noticed most in the private, one-on-one conversations where it's possible to dialogue and dig deeper is the common theme of a desire for normalcy. It's not only those that are in a severe struggle, it's almost everyone.

I won't belabor the causes here, they're too complex and I'm unqualified to speak objectively on the topic, but there are a LOT of things happening today that no one would have predicted in 2018. 

What I am qualified to talk about is the personal conversations I'm having with friends, peers and acquaintances. And what I don't hear a lot about anymore are their dreams. This is especially true of kids. I don't hear a lot about desires driven by looking ahead and reaching for something new. I hear, instead, a lot about a desire to escape. To escape what is. 

There's a line in the Avett Brothers' song "The Weight of Lies" that cautions "when you run make sure you run to something and not away from". I'm interpreting it completely out of the context of the song, but creative license and all that so I'll generalize the point: have your sights on a destination.

If we're just running away from something, we're in a state of fear. If we turn our sites to a destination, a place to end up, a place we'd rather be, we're introducing some hope, some intention, some definition to what's different about where we are versus where we want to be.

Normalcy is comforting, but it's not enough. First, there really is no such thing as normal. And the one thing we've proven time and again is that the only true constant is that things change.

So, where do you want to go? It's hard to define in the midst of depression or anxiety, because really, you just want out. But as the cliche goes, darkness vanishes in the light. So, don't look to the dark for the answer. Imagine something better and look there. The darkness can fade, and fade quickly.