The Burdens of Time Travel
“Depression is living in the past. Anxiety is living in the future.”
I don’t know where or from whom I first heard this, but it provided immediate insight to frame the pain I was wrestling with and at the mercy of for a long time.
Recognizing that what was formerly one single big sticky stinging ball of “depression-and-anxiety”, was in fact two distinct things, helped me immensely.
It prompted a bit of curiosity in me, which is a form of relief in and of itself.
At least now when I felt that one modification called depression, I could become curious about what in my past was occupying my thoughts that caused this particular species of pain.
And when I felt the modification called anxiety, I became curious about what about my future was occupying my thoughts that caused this other species of pain.
Both were still enormous, toxic ,and ferocious in their engagements, but now I could face each as a foe with its own disturbingly unique set of tactics and weaponry.
You think it’s hard to live in the present moment? Try living in the future and the past at the same time. You can’t. It’s impossible. Don’t believe me? Imagine yourself at age 5 and at age 105. I don’t mean picture yourself. I mean be that person.
Be age 5. Be age 105. You can’t be both at the same time. Can you see that?
There, now you’ve split the challenge. You have a distinction to battle “anxiety-and-depression” not as a single Goliath, but, well, two perhaps equally formidable foes. Sounds like bad news. Now there's two of these beasts. But there is treasure to be found here.
Down and depressed? Things aren’t like they used to be. The path you took didn’t lead you to where you thought you’d be. That relationship you spent so much time and care on didn't work, so you’re alone today.
Anxious and uneasy? How will I pay the electricity bill this month? How can I muster the slightest modicum of confidence for the job interview next week? When, if ever, will I meet a man who will sweep me off my feet?
These are very different questions with very different answers. The secret, the treasure, is that there is a silver bullet. That silver bullet is now. The present moment. Now.
Now is all you have. The past is just an idea. The future is just an idea. You can’t really go there. But they feel real, and we wish ... if only. If only I could go back and do it differently. If only I could see the future and know how these things will turn out.
There is already nothing to worry about.
The cliches and axioms are true. You’re exactly where you're meant to be. You’ve been exactly where you're meant to have been. You’ll go exactly where you’re meant to go. Stop with the time travel. It does absolutely zero good. Don’t take that burden any longer.
The purpose of your life is to be happy.
Put that on your back.
I don’t know where or from whom I first heard this, but it provided immediate insight to frame the pain I was wrestling with and at the mercy of for a long time.
Recognizing that what was formerly one single big sticky stinging ball of “depression-and-anxiety”, was in fact two distinct things, helped me immensely.
It prompted a bit of curiosity in me, which is a form of relief in and of itself.
At least now when I felt that one modification called depression, I could become curious about what in my past was occupying my thoughts that caused this particular species of pain.
And when I felt the modification called anxiety, I became curious about what about my future was occupying my thoughts that caused this other species of pain.
Both were still enormous, toxic ,and ferocious in their engagements, but now I could face each as a foe with its own disturbingly unique set of tactics and weaponry.
You think it’s hard to live in the present moment? Try living in the future and the past at the same time. You can’t. It’s impossible. Don’t believe me? Imagine yourself at age 5 and at age 105. I don’t mean picture yourself. I mean be that person.
Be age 5. Be age 105. You can’t be both at the same time. Can you see that?
There, now you’ve split the challenge. You have a distinction to battle “anxiety-and-depression” not as a single Goliath, but, well, two perhaps equally formidable foes. Sounds like bad news. Now there's two of these beasts. But there is treasure to be found here.
Down and depressed? Things aren’t like they used to be. The path you took didn’t lead you to where you thought you’d be. That relationship you spent so much time and care on didn't work, so you’re alone today.
Anxious and uneasy? How will I pay the electricity bill this month? How can I muster the slightest modicum of confidence for the job interview next week? When, if ever, will I meet a man who will sweep me off my feet?
These are very different questions with very different answers. The secret, the treasure, is that there is a silver bullet. That silver bullet is now. The present moment. Now.
Now is all you have. The past is just an idea. The future is just an idea. You can’t really go there. But they feel real, and we wish ... if only. If only I could go back and do it differently. If only I could see the future and know how these things will turn out.
There is already nothing to worry about.
The cliches and axioms are true. You’re exactly where you're meant to be. You’ve been exactly where you're meant to have been. You’ll go exactly where you’re meant to go. Stop with the time travel. It does absolutely zero good. Don’t take that burden any longer.
The purpose of your life is to be happy.
Put that on your back.
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