The 5 Stages of DIY Grief

Fear.

Excitement.

Anger.

Commitment.

Uh oh.

These are the five stages of DIY Home Improvement projects. 

I wrote recently about finally facing the fear of addressing a water collection issue underneath a second story outdoor balcony that had been nagging me for fifteen years.

Once I got a handle on the reality of what I was facing, which was not as bad as the nightmare scenario I had been building in my mind over that long time period, I found myself excited to tackle the project. The second phase kicked in: Excitement.

My dad was a skilled handyman around our house. He taught me a few things. This was now my chance to challenge myself and put my knowledge into action and skills to the test.

Then I faced another big challenge: Anger.  I was suddenly overcome with anger at myself for letting this go so long. How could I have done this? Thid was neglect. I simply refused to address the problem. Mixed with anger, I found myself experiencing an emotion I hadn't experienced in a long time: Shame. I was ashamed of myself. Yuck.

The fear dissipated quickly and excitement came on at the speed of a locomotive. Anger and shame, well, they linger.

Commitment is the fuel that keeps the engine moving. Anger and shame are lengthening the consist, adding weight and nuisance to the project, and no value. But they are there. 

I hope to shed those boxcars soon.

And then there's Uh Oh. Which is the phase I entered yesterday. 

The major hurdle I overcame, the major peak I had to ascend, was Fear. And I do believe it's mostly downhill from there, at least as a general trend. That was the Summit. 

What the Uh Oh phase is about is that there will be ups and downs along the way. It's not all smooth sailing. But generally, momentum will build and eventually the project will end and the terrain will level out.

There is a LOT of work involved in rebuilding, or refurbishing, a deck. And my Dad's voice regularly echoes in my head to "do it right the first time," so I'm not taking any shortcuts.

I do feel a bit stupid, however, to only now have remembered another common piece of wisdom that things always take longer than planned. I thought I might have this done in a couple weeks. Uh oh. I'm not sure how long this is going to take.

The oxygen that enables the fuel of Commitment to burn is Persistence. I tackle something on the project every single day. And I will until it's complete. Yesterday was a big cleanup day with a day of power washing (thank you Frank W. Ofeldt, II -- you genius of man).

Today? It's a Sunday. Home Depot opens at 8 am. It's a 10 minute drive across town. I'll be on the road by a quarter to the hour to face another emerging fear of mine: Inflation.