Filled

"The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." - Kahlil Gibran

I wrote recently about the feeling of emptiness. By the end of the blog post I acknowledged an understanding that this state of being would be temporary. 

And here I am just a week or so later feeling filled, or more accurately, flowing.

One thing that a meditation practice can make you intimately aware of is that things are always changing. Everything rises and falls away. One of the healthiest and helpful insights to be gained is that this is true of thoughts and feelings. Knowing this liberates you from their apparent stranglehold on you as you go about your daily life.

It occurs to me that being empty or being filled is, in a way, impossible. They imply a steady state. A destination. A place of arrival.

This is an illusion. A false perception that is perhaps not easy to shake.

Yet, as I emerged from the feeling of emptiness, and felt a feeling of being filled -- filled with satisfaction of completing a job, filled with gratitude for the health of my family, filled with hope for a better year to come -- that feeling too faded away.

There was insight to be gained here. As I recognized being filled, there was an opportunity to not return to a state of empty. Being "not-filled" did not require being empty. Not-filled could instead be a state of replenishment. 

Replenishment is the antidote to empty, not fulfillment.

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." - Luke 6:38

I cannot comprehend the Gibran quote at the top of this post. I've experienced sorrow. Deep sorrow. The death of our team captain my senior year in high school. The death of an ex-girlfriend my sophomore year in college. My sister at age fifty-two. My dad eight years ago.

I don't feel more capable of joy. Perhaps compassion, but not joy. 

The Jesus quote lands a bit more squarely with me. If the feeling of emptiness will not last, and the feeling of fulfillment will not last, what is left as lasting? 

It's that flow -- the energy, or thought, or emotion, or state of being (perhaps these are all the same thing) -- that is in a constant state of change. It's the flow that can be identified and replied upon as a truth.

This is again where meditation, when combined with action, reveals its truest nature and its most pronounced benefits. By recognizing the state of flow through you, there is an appreciation for the fluctuations. By choosing to take positive action -- helping someone in need, offering a loving hand, providing warm support -- by taking action to deliver kindness in its many forms, there is an opportunity for it to be returned to you anew. You just have to recognize it as such.

Try it and see what happens. Be kind to someone. For no reason, and even without reason. Be kind to a stranger. Be kind to someone you disagree with. Be kind to a relative or colleague you don't like. 

Then sit for a few minutes and go inside. See what you feel.