A Year Without Alcohol: The First Temptation

Although I hadn’t been drinking for about three weeks, I consider that third weekend the true start of my experiment with a year of sobriety. It's when I faced my first test.

The invitation was appealing and strong. A long-time friend was coming into town. He rented a cabin up in the mountains a short drive away. He had tickets to a local concert venue, one of my favorite places to see live music.

From the outside looking in, it was in many ways an ideal invitation. Close by. Music in the redwoods. A cabin to crash at. 

I was ambivalent. This was a drinking buddy. We didn’t do things together sober. Backyard BBQ, live music, dinner out, golf. It always centered around alcohol.

The ambivalence was another signal that my relationship to alcohol is changing.

I was listening to some celebrity testimonial about his struggles with alcohol and he countered a stereotype about the challenges of staying sober. He commented that it wasn’t the bad times - the quintessential idea of looking for the solutions to your problem at the bottom of a bottle. 

It was the good times.  The victories. When everyone around you is celebration and popping champagne, and you’re on the team, but you’re trying to say sober.

This was a little bit like that. I’m in a great mood. I feel better. Business is looking good. Why not go out and let loose a little bit? Unwind. Reward myself.

I felt the internal pull. The old me would have said, yeah, go for it. It’s a night (or two) out. 

But, I was awake this time. Mentally and spiritually. I saw the truth of what would be ahead: $16 pints, and way too many of them. Maybe a shot or two mixed in here and there. A late night. A groggy morning. Probably some bloody marys. Some kind of huge hangover breakfast. Probably roll straight into lunch, which would mean more pints.

Would it have been fun? Heck yeah. But what I realized viscerally, so viscerally that I could live the alternative path, was that the drinking is out of line with my goals and desires for the year ahead.  

I suggested coffee. I offered to bring up breakfast to the cabin the next morning. We could drink coffee and eat a home cooked meal.  

He passed.

I don’t know if the next challenge, the next temptation, will be as easy to say no to as this one. And easy is the wrong word. There was a struggle.  Mostly, I didn’t want to miss out on seeing a good friend.

But I knew a sober night out wasn’t going to happen. Not yet. Not at this point and not with this specific friend.

And so, I continue.  Tomorrow will be a month without alcohol.  One-twelfth of the year of sobriety in my belt.

I wonder what will happen next.


See the first post in the series "A Year Without Alcohol: An Accidental Experiment with Sobriety."


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